The Sound of Hairballs

(with apologies to Paul Simon)

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’m up at 5am again
Because a creature softly creeping
Coughed one up while I was sleeping
And that rhythmic hacking noise
Brings no joys
I hear the sound of hairballs

Under the sheets I lie afraid
Of the sticky mess he’s made
Before my fingers touch the lamp
Will I step in something warm and damp?
And my eyes are stabbed as I flip the bedroom light
And spy the sight
Forged from the sound of hairballs

And in the naked light I saw
What was expelled from kitty’s maw
Kitty barfing on the bed spread
Kitty leaving just what I dread
Kitty making messes that I must clean
It’s obscene
After the sound of hairballs

Cat, said I, You do not know
What this does to the bedclothes
That wad of fur makes such a stain
I feel that I must now complain
That the acid in your stomach burns
When it returns
In the form of hairballs

With a sponge I bowed and scrubbed
To remove that stain I rubbed
Kitty sat and groomed without caring
And in his gut there was forming
A new bolus that will be hacked up on some other day
In the same way
And promised further sounds of hairballs

One comment

  1. oh, I love this one. will play the sond to my cat, next time she comes up with the sound …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: